Rather than just pretending like I was going to post more I have actually been preparing to do it, mainly by taking amusing pictures and planning the words that would accompany them. Unfortunately, somehow I managed to delete not only all of the pictures on my phone but most of the phone software itself, and the resulting firmware upgrade very effectively killed anything that remained. Long story short, my incompetence has cost you several pictures. Too bad too, there were some real doozies in there. Since even I'm not a big enough slacker to make a post specifically about why there isn't a better post in its place, I'll tell you a short story as long as you're here.
Last week I was bartending on Saturday, and when I got done I decided to enjoy the nice weather and good company, and sit outside with a beer. Before doing that, I had the good sense to make use of the restroom, as I had been holding in what felt like a sizable dump for most of the afternoon. After waddling my way to the can, I sat down and started to push, and let me tell you, this was a big one. I struggled and strained and gripped the bowl and everything, this turd was a monster. After finally fighting the good fight to the finish and feeling like I had stretched my anus almost to the breaking point, by natural next step was to look into the bowl and stare down the opponent I had bested. Imagine my surprise when all I saw was a small little pile of rabbit turds. The following is verbatim the first two thoughts that came to my mind:
"Seriously? My asshole is so tight that those tiny things felt like they were doing to break me?"
"Wow, I would be really popular in prison"
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